maaaan i'm so annoyed, i unfollowed a boy on tumblr for borderline vegan shaming (at least expressing a shit load of ethnocentrism which is something that really bothers me), and i don't really mind but he's going to start whinging when he notices i unfollowed him because he's insecure about himself as it is, but that is no excuse to shame other peoples beliefs and choices. he has already sexually harassed me anyway which was really uncool and i didn't go along with it, but i genuinely felt bad about his bad self-esteem that i couldn't justify cutting him off for being a creep. it's for the better, but i still feel bad about it although i haven't done anything wrong.

that was such a pointless rant, i'm really not bothered but i felt a need to justify myself still, hah. maybe i should question my own self-esteem.

nah, things have been good recently. i've been keeping super busy, although i've been really sick the past 3 days and haven't done anything. finn and brittany are here this weekend too. i'd love to go to laura's party and see them but my old friends will be there too and i've already had enough nightmares about being shunned to a corner of a room while they all have fun without me, it doesn't need to be a reality but i really struggle to tell people that. laura thankfully caught on it'd be awkward for me though and told me it was okay if i didn't go if i didn't feel comfortable, super nice of her! i'm sick anyway, so even if i were braver, i still couldn't have. haha.

in other words, i can't wait for summer so i can spend it all either working, seeing the best people and drinking, and walking through the shallow waters of the beach and using the fresh ocean air to clear my head. i'm so excited. i never knew the beach would have such a strong pull on me once i moved away from home, but it's all i can think about half the time. it's going to stick, too. i'm never going to be able to comfortably live anywhere far away from a beach, and that's fine by me.