feeling really spazzy and anxious right now which is pretty unusual for me these days (it's still pretty cool seeing myself recognise this as something uncommon now). i'm mostly just having a lot of guilt about what goes on in the animal industry, how animals are treated despite whether they're going to be sent off to be slaughtered for the purpose of being eaten etc. it's awful in every aspect and it really upsets me that i can't help. i can't even assist any upset friends right now because of all the work i have to do for exams and stuff, and that's something i find equally as heartbreaking (REALLY heartbreaking).

hm, besides this, i'm learning about the ethics and moral dilemmas behind neural grafts and stem cell therapy and such, which is actually also very upsetting (i'm just not having a good night with what i'm being exposed to, hahahaha), but also super interesting and engaging and they're pretty difficult issues to tackle in cases. i enjoy getting chances to free think about this sort of stuff.

oh, and my birthday was really great! i'm really fortunate to have such lovely people around me and i'm over-joyful for how things went! the thing i wrote about in my last post didn't happen as i expected of course, and that's okay. having given myself that guideline, i have something to actually work off of now (i could have used any day for it really, but a birthday had at least some rationale behind for me to feel i can work with it). i'm just glad to have that last bit let go of old troubles and catch up to the rest of me.