we're going to take a moment to appreciate how much my anxiety and panic levels have decreased over the months, and we're also going to take a moment to farewell the past me that got emotionally ripped to shreds by a boy's awful words and in a way, succeeded in suicide. i wish you a nice long rest and i'm sorry that the outer shell of me that's left wasn't enough to protect you, although i know you were told you were protected by somebody else. it's nobody's fault and one day maybe he'll be able to accept what he's done without having to deny having done it because deep down he knows how bad it really was.