i'm sick of the nightmares
i'm sick of the emptiness
i'm sick of the loneliness
i'm sick of the waiting
i'm sick of the trying
i'm sick of the exhaustion
i'm sick of the me
and the you
and those yous, too

still bloggin' about wanting to be dead. i honestly don't know why i'm trying anymore, this is ridiculous. if only i were selfish enough.

so busy recently. i hardly have time to sleep properly because i have so much work to do.

i don't know what to say. things have been pretty good i guess, not perfect but totally much better. i'm still haunted by everything wrong but i definitely feel progress happening. it's going to take a while to completely break off feeling like an empty shell, though. yawn. i don't know why i'm even writing this. i guess because i can't talk to anybody because no one really cares and i don't want people leaving again.