still overwhelmed and i just have nothing new to say
times is moving so quickly that i can't keep up with all the finer things around me, and that's concerning for somebody so attentive.

i'm so happy and still dreaming, aren't i?

i've overcome such a big source of my anxiety and like, way to go me. this is such an achievement after everything that's happened this year, it really didn't seem like an achievement i could actually reach at the time. 

i'm going to have to start reestablishing trust sooner or later, but that will come with practice and time. i'll hopefully be luckier with people this time.

and to think it was only a few months ago where instead of being on top of the world, the world was on top of me. that's fucking madness to me how much has changed and how little control i seem to have over any of it.

things have been going by in such a blur and i'm entranced by the simplicity and the sweetness of everything. i don't know how to describe this but i feel like i'm on top of the world and everything is absolutely mine. this feeling is somewhat all too familiar, but this time i'm on top of something else altogether and this view is more preferable.

i'm doing well with all my work and i think i'm falling further in love with someone who i'm still not convinced is real. he's the sort of thing i'd pull out of a dream and wake up in a panic that he's never going to show up again, but he keeps coming back this time. it's such a scary thing to me but i am really feeling comfortable with this.

this boy is the greatest, holy fucking shit i can't contain myself and my happiness and i'm terrified but this is what i want